I used to own this hat.

A few years ago, between one shitty relationship and into another. I bought it at Ragstock. I thought it looked good with my reddish hair and my green coat. It was kind of my signature piece, this green hat. I had it when I owned kitties.

When I replaced the kitties with an abusive boyfriend, he overhauled my things. My pictures, my clothes, my jewelry, my shoes, my everything. I can't even begin to tell you how many of my things he broke, made me throw out, or threw away when I wasn't home. The reason I can't tell you is that I would cry. So hard. So long.

Why would I cry? Not because I miss my stuff. It's just stuff, stuff can be replaced. I would cry for the loss of memories and experiences that were precious to me. Because I'm still disappointed in myself that I didn't have the guts to stand UP to this asshole and be myself. Because I let him control my life for a year and a half. I don't regret the choices I made, but I have learned from them.

Back to the subject at hand--this green hat. One of the things he threw out, into the garbage, was this hat. When I found it at Ragstock again yesterday, I almost cried. I had to have it. I remember how friggin' GOOD this hat made me look. How it went with everything I owned. How everyone knew it was me, because there was my hat.

It's a building block, this new green hat of mine. It's a stepping stone that will eventually bring me back to 100% center. I hope some of you remember the first awesome green hat, but that all of you LOVE the new green hat.

The Universe works in mysterious ways. The Universe giveth, and The Universe taketh away. Be open and receptive, my friends.

:)

I'm 80% sure my ears are bleeding. :P

I just got home from an EPIC girls night out on the town. It was more fun than I anticipated...decidedly looooonger than I anticipated.

Mega props go out to Spike, who came and rescued Shaya from the downtown area. I wish I'd been with her so I could have gone home, but at the same time, I'm glad I stayed out with Erin.

She picked me up shortly after 8, and I just got home, at 3am. That's a 7 hour night. HOLY CRAP!

Seriously, my ears are ringing so hard. I can't think. I don't want to talk. I want to pass the eff out and sleep in all day tomorrow, but I'm going to get up at 9am. Bah.

I am in the market for a new insurance agent. I need coverage for a 1993 Jeep Cherokee, as well as renter's insurance. I'm currently with American Family. I don't mind their coverage, it's just my agent sucks. Any suggestions? I live in South Minneapolis.

I just had a lovely little nap. I meant to go for a walk to the Wedge to get catnip for Carmen's new kitten(s), but I couldn't keep my eyes open!

During my nap, I dreamed that I was at Murzyn Hall for a Girl Scouts event with my little sister. In my dream, I was me today, but Nicky and her little Girl Scout friends were about six years old!

I had parked my new Jeep in the lot behind the hall. I could have sworn I fed the meter enough, even though it didn't make sense to have meters in the lot.

We were baking crescent rolls and biscuits, and somehow, I got the breads in my bag. I went to grab something from the Jeep, and some douche was towing it away!

I thought that since I was there, he shouldn't be able to tow it. I begged and pleaded, and he still said he had to. He popped a huge wheelie in the lot with my car. I begged him to let me pay him NOW, so they didn't have to tow it. He said no, since he would get at least $150 each way, to and from the tow lot. I didn't know they delivered! :P

He drove me up to the door of the hall, and said that if I could give him $40 cash NOW, he would leave the car with me. I went inside and got my Uncles and Grandpa to pull some cash out of their pockets. Steve Hennen, my Aunt's loser boyfriend, pretended like he didn't have any $$. Grandpa pulled out his wallet, and it was FULL of cash. He told me to take what I needed and not worry about paying it back.

I snapped back out of my dream and into the real world after I paid the guy. Weird.

$339 and 18 hours later, my working day is over. Once you factor in my sore feet, beer soaked pants, glass encrusted shoes, aching back, and inability to fall asleep before 5am, it's hard to believe that it was worth the effort. Especially since I have to get up and do part of it all over again tomorrow. Blech.

I just called Walgreens about a rather large photo order, asking if I could get matte paper instead of glossy. I know I've gotten matte there before, so I wanted to double check if that was still an option. The kid said yes, matte was an option. I placed my order.

Right after placing my order, the kid tells me that he only has glossy. What a bugger!

I am on a baking kick and it's great! I baked a loaf of banana bread for Jerry and Thad to enjoy while they play video games tonight. Carmen and I are going out on a date. :)

Tuesday, I baked about three dozen cookies. I also baked a jello cake for Bertine's b-day. Last night, I baked BACON.

I want to learn how to bake AND cook more things! Tell me your favorite recipes! :D

Re-posted for a friend. :)

I'm currently taking a class on counseling procedures at school, and for our final project, we have to do a 30-minute counseling session. The session is video taped and will be reviewed by the instructor and 5 students in the class. It will be strictly confidential outside of class discussion, and destroyed afterwards.

If you're interested in a half hour of having someone listen to you, let me know and I will pass your name on to my classmates. We're all very pro-style about this, but it's not professional counseling in any way. Shoot me an e-mail or leave a response if you're interested and I'll get in touch with you.

Any questions, feel free to ask!

It's RT's birfday TOMORROW. I would love to bake him a cake, but I bet he'd think that was weird.

Two tickets to the Bodeans on December 19th at the Guthire Theatre.

8pm, Aisle 1, Row P, Seats 101 and 102

$39 each

This is a sold out show! Snap these up as a pair! :) Cash only, can meet anywhere in Minneapolis, or along the way to Elk River. Thanks!

If anyone is able to help these tickets get sold, the Pantsmom can attend the Happy Merry Christmakwanzaaca party! :D

Saturday, we got together with Brian Quarfoth (who was dressed like a scary mime...lulz) and played this crazy fun game called Red November. The first time, we all died horribly. The second time, we made it to safety. I'm sad we didn't get to play Betrayal at House on the Hill, but it was still nice to get to know the first game better so that next time we play, it's solid.

After he left, we lounged about the house for a bit. Got ready to go to Amanda's rockin' house party, as well as the famed Mansion Party with the Kennedys. At Amanda's place, my team totally rocked all over everyone's faces, which wasn't surprising--I had Amanda AND Chris on my team! What a draw! We won shot glasses and Halloween pencils. :D Amanda was dressed like Flo and she looked GREAT. Chris was the founder of some religious order, and had a massive sword. He looked pretty cool. Their new place is AWESOME. I love their sun room with two arm chairs in it. They are totally settled in to a life of together, which is great. :) I want a room like that someday!

We headed to the Mansion Party and met Chase and Andrea there. It was an ok party. Most of the people were already suuuuuper wasted by the time we got there, so it wasn't all that much fun to me. Nate stopped in, and I kind of wish I had gone party hopping with him. He kept sending me pictures from all of the parties he was at--totes jealous. Erin was supposed to come out with us, but she wasn't feeling well. :( Later in the evening, around the time of DST, we headed to Hard Times Cafe for late night sustenance. I think it was a good idea all around, as some were drunker than others. The water and food was a winner. :) Nate, Ali, Evan and Evan's sister all joined us there.

Sunday, Tiff was kind enough to let me go in at 11 instead of 10. I needed that extra hour. I woke up feeling GREAT and well rested. Awesome! Jerry dropped me off at Dave's to pick up my Jeep, all put back together and working fine. :)

Tiff had worn this crazy Sheera costume, complete with head dress, uncomfortable necklace, and extensions. Her poor neck was irritated as hell from the necklace, and her head was in pain from the extensions in her hair. We spent about an hour in the shower trying to wash them out of her hair. Wacky! Her friend, Brooke, put them in her hair, using glue AND THEN a hair dryer to pretty much cement them in place. I will never use extensions like that. :(

I had to work at Abilene at 2, which I understood, since there was a Vikings game at 3, but I knew we wouldn't get busy. I had ONE table. Dominic was getting his ass kicked and he made good $$, but not me. I left with $6 at the end of my shift. I could have left with less, but the table was generous. I really appreciated that. What I didn't appreciate, however, was that I didn't even make a shot of Jameson in tips. I *really* wanted one on Sunday. :( I figured I'd save my $6.75+tip and buy a bottle on Thursday. Bah.

I started my NaNoWriMo, and got about 350 words in. I'm sure that pace won't keep up, and I'll be writing frantically at the end. We'll see how that train wreck goes. Called home, talked to Mom and Darin for a while. I met up with Jerry at Thad's for Sunday Night Awesomeness. Carmen made cucumber soup, which was tasty and amazing. She is such a great cook!

Monday, I don't remember if we stayed at my place or his Sunday night. Oh well. I had to work at 4, which was teh lame. I made $25 from four tables. $31 in two days. I can't keep living like this! :( I headed over to Erin's to try on and potentially borrow a suit for my Thursday interview. Her suit was super cute and fit great! We had good chats, until she and Nate had to head out to go see Where the Wild Things Are. I would have gone if I hadn't already seen it.

I called Jerry to see what was shakin' before I left NE. I had originally planned on going to Chicago Lake, buying a bottle of Jameson, and settling in with some Katamari for the evening. He was sick, so I headed to the grocery to pick up some juice and dinner, and went over to take care of his poor, sick face. :P We played video games, watched LOST. Ya know.

Tuesday, he got to work from home. I worked on my stuff, sending out lots and lots of resumes, applying for many things at the U, per Amanda's suggestion. Bah, I hate this waiting game! I headed home in the afternoon. I should have headed out earlier, because as soon as I got home, I took a nap. I was full from lunch and probably coming down with a touch of Jerry's cold. Bummer! I still headed to Suzi's, even though I was contemplating not going. I had a good time, and Erin even came! I went apeshit on her crossword puzzle to the point where she had to take it away. :P

Wednesday, all I had on my plate was SPW. I slept in, lazed about. Made cookies for the group. Turned the heat off early so we didn't die. Shit got a little loose, what with three bottles of Jameson, two bottles of rum, and one bottle of Bailey's in play. Eek! We broke an attendance record, too. I believe we had a total of 19 people there, all in all. I will have to check records, but that sounds about right. Amy and her friend, two of Aaron's friends, Aaron, me, Wifey, Crystal, Bertine, Anne and Doug Miller, Ann, Dave, Laura and Joe, Asian Dan and Pete, Jason D...anyone else? That's only 18! That ties last year's Night Before Thanksgiving count. TELL ME if I forgot anyone. :D

Thursday, I had my interview. The company was really cool, and the staff seemed really nice. He is going to call people for 2nd round interviews sometime next week. I hope I get this job!

Post interview, I met up with Nate to have some lunch. We went to a cute little place in NE called Sen Yai Sen Lek. He bought my lunch, which I thought was sweet. :) He let me hang out in his condo building's office room to print and fax some stuff. Awesome! I even printed out a new social security card application. I have to get in and do that soon. Bah. Paperwork.

Thursday night, I went in to work. I made $55 when the night was over. MAJOR BUMMER. I seriously can't live on $100/week at Abilene. :( I ended up at Jerry's after work, which was nice. We watched more LOST. We are addicts!

Friday, I had grandiose plans of sleeping in. Fortunately, I had set a calendar appointment for myself that Anna and I were going to go hit Uptown, and that I was going to pick her up! I tore through the shower, got dressed, and grabbed her from Thad's. We stopped by my place so I could grab a card to write a thank you for the interview. I only grabbed one, and ended up screwing up what I wanted to say, of course. We ate at the Namaste Cafe, which was surprisingly awesome! Service was slow, but they were busy. Oh well.

We walked to the Spyhouse on Hennepin for a coffee after lunch. I can't wait to hang out with Anna more often! She is so great and so much fun to hang out with. :) We stopped by my place on the way to teh Wedge to grab more cards. This time, I grabbed several, so I could NOT mess it up. :P I didn't get to take Anna to the Wedge, but there is always next time. I got her home just in time to go to the gym with Carmen. She looked a little weird, and I realised it was because she wasn't wearing her glasses! I've never seen her wearing contacts. :P I stayed and wrote the card at their place so I didn't put it off and potentially forget. Thad helped me word it. :) Popped it into the mail and went about my merry way.

I grabbed a bottle of Jameson on the way back to Jerry's. I also stopped at a gas station and checked my oil. I need to get an oil change and check the tire pressure, srsly. Talked with Nate on the phone for a bit, which was nice. We made a quick stop in at Thad's, but I wasn't feeling 100%, so we hung out in, watched a few episodes of LOST, and chilled with some chicken fried rice. The oyster sauce made a world of difference! So super good. :) I feel bad that we didn't make it to Kari's birfday. :(

Saturday, being today, I got up and headed to Tiff's. Just got home a bit ago. Jerry and I are making breakfast, and we are going on a walk after we eat. I'm going to go take care of Jeep stuff, like a fresh oil change, and he's going to work. At some point, we're going to go grocery shopping, and there are a few options for tonight. Ah, to be so busy!

My Flickr is about to expire in two days. I am going to wait until this job business sorts itself out to re-up my paid account. That's $25 toward bills, baby!

A few moments I will remember and cherish FOREVER:

* Waking up on October 12th, 2008 with Amanda's glass full of sangria next to my bed, and her Guest of Honor in my bed.
* Eating Luce and drinking beer while playing Wario Ware on my Wii and talking till all hours of the morning the very next day.
* Eating Thai food with Jerry back in January and he wore the only sweater he owns.
* Standing next to the upper floor railing during the intermission of Singin' in the Rain at the Ordway with him holding me from behind.
* Lying in bed on Friday before Eric's Halloween party, just having eaten dinner and cuddling while watching The Mitchell and Webb Look. Legs intertwined, holding hands, touching the other person's hair... :)
* Our first Cheap Date Night at the Red Stag.
* One of many meals at Our Kitchen.
* Jerry pushing me and my dead scooter back to safety.
* Drinking jynnan tonnyx fortified with hail while watching Look Around You.
* Fixing my tank top with twine.

<3

Saturday, I got up and headed to Tiff's. I headed back to Jerry's after Tiff's and we bummed about the house most of the day. We meant to get up and get to Target to pick up his allergy meds, as well as out to Rosedale to get Brandy's birthday present, but didn't make it that far very early. As per usual, at the last possible minute, we picked the most important of events that needed to take place, and rushed about to get them done.

We hit up Kinko's to print out some documents. Then we went to an office store to get presentation supplies. The douche at Kinko's wouldn't even step out from behind the counter to help us look at theirs. Pssht. After that, we went to the cuuuuute Japanese store at Rosedale to get Brandy a birthday present. We got her little ghosts and smoking watermelons. :P On our way to Minneapolis for dinner, we realised we forgot our tickets to the Haunted Basement at the Soap Factory.

After an emergency stop in at Thad and Carmen's to print the tickets, we raced into Minneapolis. We found a good parking spot close to Ginger Hop and had just enough quarters to tide us over until Haunted Basement time. Dinner was...less than impressive. Food was served cold and lacking in flavor in my case, small portioned and tasting of peanut butter in Jerry's case, lacking in flavor in Spike's case, and generally "Meh" on most other people's parts. I think the drinks and appetizers won out. Service was good, but food was lacking. Total bummer!

Brandy and JD joined Jerry and I on our trek to the Soap Factory. Spike told us that they don't let you in if you are late, so we literally RAN to our cars, and raced like crazy people to the door. We found out that they most certainly DO allow lateness, otherwise nobody would get in! :P We had an exciting wait with Kari as our tour guide. She spoiled LOST for us a little. Bummer! We had a good time joking that we wouldn't make it out alive and that Kari would watch us on the TVs. Brandy, JD and I all bemoaned the fact that we agreed to go with Jerry, since all three of us hate scary things. :P

The basement was fun, on the whole. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't gone yet. I'm impressed with myself that I didn't "Say Uncle", which is their safe word. They would escort you out if you did. I made it to the end, clutching Jerry, Brandy and JD the whole way. :D After the basement, we stayed and hung out, watching the cameras in the basement for a while with Kari.

We left NE, heading downtown to meet up with everyone for Rock Band at Grumpy's. The guy running the night forgot the freakin' game! I couldn't believe it! He brought all of his RB gear, his XBox, and all of his sound equipment, but not the freakin' game. FTW. Once it got going, the night was pretty fun. Like karaoke, only with your RB guitar in tow. :) Tara was AMAZING--she kicked some serious ass on guitar and vocals in "You Oughta Know". She also owned all over the drums during some hard Chili Peppers songs.

At the end of the night, we headed back to Jerry's place. Watched some more LOST, drank a Dr. Pepper. The usual. :)

Sunday, Tiff allowed me the luxury of an extra hour of sleep. So great! After Tiff's, I headed to the grocery. I bought some baking supplies and fried rice supplies. Nate met me at my place, and we baked banana bread together. So great! I met Jerry over at Thad and Carmen's place for Sunday night fun. Carmen made this AMAZING Greek-inspired dish in the crockpot. Eggplant and other veggies, tofu, and sheep's cheese on top. Served over cous cous...delish! We headed back to my place for the night. :)

Monday, Jerry got up early and headed on in to work. I slept fairly late after he left...I really need to knock that business off. Get up when he gets up, seriously! I headed in to work at 3pm and made a decent chunk of change. Probably for the best, since I haven't really worked all week since. :(

Tuesday, I felt very domestic all day. I washed lots of laundry, dealt with some paperwork things that needed dealing with. Washed some dishes. Walked to the grocery and back. Baked some tasty bits. :D Jerry was coming over after work, and I had dinner ready for him. Chicken legs, sweet corn, corn bread, and banana bread for dessert. I rock! He worked on some worky bits and I watched Everything is Illuminated. Good stuff!

We headed to Suzi's and he kept right on working on his stuff there, too! Had a couple of beers with good friends. Good times! We stayed at my place, watched a bit of LOST. We are like two old people, I swear!

Wednesday, he headed out to work, and I slept in again. :P Cleaned house a bit more, baked pie crust bits for SPW. We had a great crowd! Nate and Erin, Chris and Abi, Peter, Dave, Crystal, Wifey, Aaron, Ryan...we had a lot of fun with the pie theme, too!

Thursday, I mostly bummed around the house. I stayed up far too late Wednesday night, playing Beatles Rock Band all by my lonesome. :P I got up and ready to head to work, even lugged all of my Halloween gear out to the Jeep, only to find out the bugger wouldn't start. :(

I called work to let them know I'd be late, and they said I could just not come in if I wanted. I really wanted to work, but not if I wasn't going to make any money. :( :( :( I opted to stay home and deal with the car situation. I'm sure the new GM is less than thrilled about my attitude toward the few shifts I have that I don't show up to. To be fair, she offered the night off AND the information that we were slow as all getout. Bah.

I called Jerry and he suggested calling Dave. Dave happened to have his car savvy friend in the car with him, so they came over to take a look at it for me. The mechanic suggested new spark plugs and a few minor parts that would cost less than $60. Dave offered to put them in for me today. I owe him a big one! He's so generous. :)

We went to Jerry's to have a shower and relax for a few before dinner. We headed to Thad and Carmen's to meet up before dinner. I need to learn that Jerry needs to eat--often! He was grumpy and nearly faint with hunger by the time we got to The Anchor. We had a 20 minute wait for a table. We used our time wisely and knew what we wanted to order right away. The food came out quickly, which was good. Everything was so tasty! It was also really nice to hang out with Thad and Carmen outside of the house. We were like normal couples last night! :P

The four of us headed back to Thad and Carmen's for drinks and chilling. I fell asleep on the couch, Carmen headed to bed, while Jerry and Thad played Borderlands. I'm glad they got game time in. I promised I'd get Carmen out of the house for a girly night so they can have a boy night soon. :)

Jerry and I went to his place, watched two episodes of LOST, and fell asleep. We are pretty far in Season 3. If any of you people DARE to spoil anything else, we'll write you out of the new season. SRSLY. Nate spoiled stuff for us, Kari spoiled stuff for us...bah.

I hate owning a car. I really do. Less than an hour ago, I went to start my Jeep to head in to work. It wouldn't start. :( I called Jess to ask for a ride to work, and then called work to tell them I would be late. The manager said that someone else had asked to stay and I could take the night off if I wanted.

I *really* wanted to work, but in the next five minutes, got stressed out to the point where it didn't seem worth it to go in and clean the floors with my toothbrush...we were *that* slow. :(

Now, here I sit, at Jerry's place. He's having a shower before we head out for dinner. I'm excited to get to go eat dinner at The Anchor, since I've heard nothing but good about the place. I'm sad I didn't get to work. I'm happy that I put my resume out to about fifteen different places today. :)

I'm feeling ok that Dave and his mechanically inclined friend were able to suss out the situation--El Jeep needs new spark plugs, some wires, and a couple of other minor parts. Dave is going to steal my Jeep tomorrow and do the work. If you ever find yourself in need of a really awesome friend, look Dave Muggli up in the phone book. You won't be disappointed. :D

This guy is selling a boatload of RB/GH gear on the cheap. I'm only interested in the GH 2, GHWT, GHSH and GH 5 games, in addition to the microphone. He quoted me $80 for all four games plus the mic.

I did a little research, and it's a fair price. The earlier games are going for pretty cheap, and if I really wanted to hold out, I could buy a copy of GHWT on eBay, shipped to my home, for about ten bucks. I think that's the game I want the most. GH 5 wouldn't be bad, either, but I have GH 3 and I NEVER PLAY IT.

I'm going to see if the guy will piece it out even further. Maybe just sell me the mic and one or two of the games. What say you?

I'm so ahead of the times this year--I've already picked out my holiday card and am getting ready to start working on them. If you want one, leave me your address here or send me an email. Comments are screened, so LEAVE ME ALL OF YOUR PERSONAL INFO, KTHXBAI.

I need a real job so I feel compelled to go to bed before 3am and get up before 11:30am. Seriously!

I'm grateful. I am so grateful that I don't have kids, car payments, a mortgage, etc... All I have is rent, loans, Jeep insurance, and personal expenditures.

I just found out, FOR SURE, that all of my management hours have been cut, effective immediately. This is approximately a 40% pay cut.

I am grateful. I am so grateful that I have savings and a strong will to budget. Given what I have saved up, I can float ok for about six months. Ideally, I'd like to see a new job in the works by the end of next week.

If anyone wants to take a look at my resume, I'd be really thankful. I think it looks ok, but a second set of eyes taking a look never hurt anything. If anyone can pass my resume along to any leads, I'd be equally grateful.

I started a new community to keep track of my budget spending. If any of you want to join, it's here:

10dollarsaday

Make sure you read the community info. I laid out some basic ground rules and ideas. Be sure to post your lists of necessary versus luxury spending, as well as emergency spending versus non-emergency spending. I am excited to see what everyone comes up with!

I'm starting my budget next Thursday, October 22nd. That's my next payday. Who's with me?! :D