A year ago today, I went to an awesome house party thrown by the lovely Amanda and her equally lovely roommate, Katie. It was called Party (with Jerry!)

According to Amanda's FB invite:

The date of this party has been specifically and meticulously picked for the attendance of Jerry. For those of you who were at the May BBQ, you may remember Jerry. Some of you (Paul?) flat-out fell in love with him. Some of you were amazed by his scooter (not a euphemism, he drives a scooter, also a euphemism), his crazy stories, or his quippy nature. Some of you may have missed him altogether. IT'S NOT TOO LATE. Jerry has given his word as a scholar and a gentleman that he will be at this party... SO YOU SHOULD BE THERE TOO!

There will be non-Jerry related entertainment in the form of drinks and other people. Bring a beverage or snack to share! Jerry will be providing prizes for those he deems worthy and/or likes the best.

Details:
WHAT: Party (With Jerry)
WHO: Katie, Amanda, everyone they know, and Jerry!
WHEN: Saturday, Oct 11, 8:00 until whenever.
WHERE: Chez Awesome, XXXX Colfax Ave S. Mpls.
WHY: Holy crap, why not?

Amanda writes the best invites. :)

I don't know that I ever wrote out the story of how Jerry and I "started". I've told this story a hundred times over, I'm sure. It's one of the best stories I know, and the best part is, it's true!

.....

I made a few comments on the invite page, as well as in my own journal about not being able to resist Jerry, that I would win all of the prizes, etc...I didn't even really know Jerry at that point. We met back in 2006 when Amanda was back for a week from Japan. She had a little get together at Psycho Suzi's in NE. I mentioned Jerry in the entry I wrote about the night. Our paths crossed again shortly after CVG08 at yet another Amanda function. Jerry, Brandy and JD all scooted to the party, and I did, too! The real turning point was the party in October. :)

I went to the party with the intention of drinking one of Jerry's gin drinks, holding a beer for the rest of the night, and excusing myself home at an early hour. At the time, I lived less than a block away from Amanda. Amanda knew that I loved gin, and told me that Jerry and I would be awesome friends because of it. She was so right!

Jerry showed up at the party and he looked good. I mean really good. ;) He made me one of his gin fizz drinks, and I hated it. :P It grossed me out that it was made with egg whites...srsly. I dumped it out when he wasn't looking, and was like "Mmm, tasty business!" when he was. After that drink, I grabbed a beer, but the party didn't end there.

We ended up crashing the neighbor's party with anney and drinking their crappy keg beer. We drank some of the beer that I brought over from my place. We drank the sake that Jerry brought in celebration of his new job. Before drinking the sake, we of course had to venture to my place to get sake cups. :) We returned to the party and talked with a "Japanese" accent (think O HARRO!) for about an hour and a half on Amanda's bed while totes tipsy. We drank Amanda's AMAZING apple sangria and ate the boozy fruit. At some point, I'm sure we drank more beer. We drank the first bottle of the Lambic that Jerry brought and then decided to sit outside so we could better hear each other.

It was super cold, so he gave me his sweatshirt. After a few minutes of sitting outside being cold and drunk, we decided to go to my place (less than a block away) and play Mario 3 on my Wii. We got SO MAD at Mario for "not being able to jump" properly. We agreed that it was Mario who was drunk, not us. :P

I woke up the next morning in my bed, laying next to Jerry. The only piece of clothing missing from our original costumes from the previous night was Jerry's shirt. It was like something out of a movie, where the heroine wakes up, her eyes flutter open and she gets her bearings. She's thinking to herself that she had a great time last night, but she's happy to be home. She remembers who she was with the night before, and when she rolls over in bed, there he is!

I shyly said good morning. He folded his arms up behind his head and said it back. We made tentative plans for hanging out again soon. :) He gave me a ride to work. So much for that "one drink and then hold a beer all night so I can get to work on time" plan. Whoops!

.....

Today marks one year since that party. A lot of things have happened in both of our lives. Friends have come and gone. SPW/SPS had its first successful season. The Happy Merry Christmakwanzaaka took place. I bought my 2009 scooter. CVG09 came and went. He put his house up on the market. I turned 27, he turned 28. My 2009 scooter officially died for the last time.

So many other wonderful things in there, too. Every day is a wonderful thing, my friends. Be good to each other. <3

I started 2008 off in a very down state of mind. I had recently found out I had miscarried Damian's baby. I was deeply sad; I was deeply relieved. We were fighting ALL THE TIME. I knew it was going to end, but I didn't have the courage to end it myself. He was mentally and verbally abusive. I felt trapped in the relationship with him, and seeing as I was so isolated from my friends and family, I honestly believed that I would stay with him forever. We celebrated our one year anniversary at the end of January and I thought I would never actually leave.

On January 29th, he ripped my cell phone apart after an entire day of fighting...I know it very easily could have been me.

After a long absence from communication (internet AND telephone) during 2007 due to a controlling boyfriend clinging to my shoulder and questioning my every move, I finally started reaching out to friends through LJ. And you responded beautifully.

I am so grateful to every single one of you. For every comment. Every word of support. Every affirming statement that told me I was better than he made me think I was, and that I deserved to be treated better. I value your value in me so very much. Thank you.

Those of you who have known me for years know that I am NOT the kind of person to roll over and take many things. I fight for what I believe in. I stand up for what I think is right and fair.

For anyone who has never experienced a controlling relationship, I hope that you never will. I have never been more depressed or felt more unloved and WORTHLESS during that year and a half than I have in my entire life. I sincerely doubt I will ever allow myself to be subjected to that kind of treatment again. I also doubt that I will permit a friend to be treated in such an awful manner by anyone.

There were many lessons that I learned during my struggle to make Damian love me for who I was. There were more lessons yet while I struggled to make him love me for who he wanted me to be. The most valuable lessons were learned when I believed all of your beliefs in me and LEFT.

In April, after several breakup/makeup stints, I finally decided he HAD TO GO. I ordered myself a new cell phone, called advocacy help lines, picked everyone's brains, and made plans. On April 13th, 2008, I called Amanda in a panic, and she and Chris came to my rescue outside of Applebee's by Lake Calhoun. Staying at Amanda and Katie's place for a week saved my life.

During that week, I had a DNC to remove the "retained products of conception" from my uterus. I felt that even though I could have used Damian's support during my time of recovery, it was symbolic and appropriate to go through all of this without him. Relying on my Mom, my friends, and my own inner strength got me through some of my darkest days.

When I finally moved back home, I was ready to get back on with my life. Shortly after getting the locks changed and settling into MY apartment, I was fired from my job. Funny how life works, isn't it?

I took it in stride. It was a harsh blow, but it was also a blessing in disguise. I needed the money, but I hated working at Garden and Associates. This was someone's way of saying that it was my time to make a change. After taking a month or so off, I applied for a hostess position at Vescio's. I've been working in food for ten years (!) and this is by far the EASIEST job I've ever had. I love it. Full service restaurants are great fun.

Most of the summer (into the fall and winter) was spent trying to get Damian out of my system. If you look back through my journal or my Flickr, you will find evidence that supports this. I've never experienced addiction before...it was--and frankly, still is--hard to let him go. I am happy to report that I haven't spoken to him AT ALL since December 20th.

Over the spring and into the summer, I tried to replace Damian with a kitteh. I was too busy enjoying my newly rediscovered freedom and working my ass off to be the kitteh mommy he deserved. I made a wonderful new friend in Jennifer, the new kitteh mommy, and all became right with the world again.

A happy little event turned my life around in July. I attended my first Convergence. I felt silly at first, because I used to make fun of all the cosplaying, LARP-ing, gaming, Con-goers. Now, I'm one of the many, one of the proud. I won't miss another Convergence come Hell or high water.

After CVG08, I fell into the most wonderful group of friends a girl could ever ask for. We started out on July 3rd and haven't quit yet. I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but unicorns are pretty kick ass. And so are all of you. :)

Many happy comings and goings have occurred in the months since July. Many sad ones, too. I'm a little older, a little wiser. Just like Wayne, I'm starting to get hair in really weird places. Getting older comes at a price, I guess.

Friends have come and gone--some even came back again. :) We will have a new President in less than a month. Relationships have started and ended. Jobs have been acquired and lost. Modes of transportation have been changed and rearranged. Roommates have been made and are working out well. Engagements have been made into concrete plans for the future. Babies have been born, older folks have passed on.

Basically, everything since early July has been one big, fun, crazy, full of friends, awesome blur. I wouldn't trade this year for anything in the world. Garcia, Hunter, Lesh and Weir said it best: Lately it occurs to me: What a long, strange trip it's been.

I am waiting anxiously for everything 2009 holds in store for us all.

Peace and love--

Jessica Valentine Lindgren