Is anyone interested in buying my bed? It's in great condition, and a hell of a deal.

The previous sale fell through due to a sudden family emergency that necessitated a move across the country. :(




Double pillow top queen (pillow tops on both sides so you can FLIP for maximum comfort) mattress, purchased in late 2005. There is slight damage to corners of the mattress from an unfortunate incident with a poorly sized Murphy bed. IKEA Malm queen sized bed frame with slatted bed base and two bedside tables.

I am willing to sell [freshly laundered] linens with it, too. I have king sized pillow cases, potentially a few random standard pillow cases/shams, fitted sheets, quilt covers, two feather blankets and two feather beds. Let's do business!

Is anyone interested in buying my bed? It's in great condition, and a hell of a deal.




Double pillow top queen (pillow tops on both sides so you can FLIP for maximum comfort) mattress, purchased in late 2005. There is slight damage to corners of the mattress from an unfortunate incident with a poorly sized Murphy bed. IKEA Malm queen sized bed frame with slatted bed base and two bedside tables.

I'm giving you, my friends, the first crack at this bed before I hit the Craigslist with it. I am willing to sell [freshly laundered] linens with it, too. I have king sized pillow cases, potentially a few random standard pillow cases/shams, fitted sheets, quilt covers, two feather blankets and two feather beds.

I gave my old iPod to Thad a week ago.

I posted my bike on CL.

I just deleted all of the music on my computer.

I will post my bed on CL soon. I'm selling the whole shebang--mattress, bed frame, linens, feather beds and all.

I can't tell you how friggin' great it feels to be rid of these things that cause me so much personal strife.

I really can't begin to tell you how great all of you, my friends, have been to me over the years. I can't tell you how much your support and friendship means to me.

<3

Whenever we go to work out, I always watch Turner Classic Movies. I love black and white films, musicals, tap dancing, orchestras...I love it all! The classic beauties of bygone eras, the goofy looking guys who got roles because they were actually talented instead of just fun to look at.

Today's film was The Dancing Lady. It was beautiful, well acted, and funny as hell. I would love to start building a collection of classic movies. Currently, all I really have is Singin' in the Rain. It's one of my favorites, and reminds me of my Grandma Lanie (Dad's Mom).

I just went through my entire flickr account. I deleted 827 photos. All of them directly related to Damian.

I feel badly, because I just deleted two of Kevin's (his nephew) birthdays, Brenda's (his neice) birth and shots around the house, and a year and a half of memories.

Notice that I am most sad about losing the shots for Kevin and Brenda's future. I understand that there were good times and bad times, and I just deleted them all. I don't care. In fact, I can't tell you what a large load has just been taken from my shoulders!

This isn't even about revenge. It's just about calming my guts. I've never been in such an awful situation, and I sincerely doubt I ever will be again. These are memories I feel I can afford to let go of.

That's all that any of us can do.

* breathe in *

* breathe out *

You cannot control what life throws your way. What you can and should control is how you prepare yourself for or react to the things that are thrown.

* breathe in *

* breathe out *

Do you duck out of the way? Or do you whip out your catcher's mitt and get the 'out' at the plate?

* breathe in *

* breathe out *

I started 2008 off in a very down state of mind. I had recently found out I had miscarried Damian's baby. I was deeply sad; I was deeply relieved. We were fighting ALL THE TIME. I knew it was going to end, but I didn't have the courage to end it myself. He was mentally and verbally abusive. I felt trapped in the relationship with him, and seeing as I was so isolated from my friends and family, I honestly believed that I would stay with him forever. We celebrated our one year anniversary at the end of January and I thought I would never actually leave.

On January 29th, he ripped my cell phone apart after an entire day of fighting...I know it very easily could have been me.

After a long absence from communication (internet AND telephone) during 2007 due to a controlling boyfriend clinging to my shoulder and questioning my every move, I finally started reaching out to friends through LJ. And you responded beautifully.

I am so grateful to every single one of you. For every comment. Every word of support. Every affirming statement that told me I was better than he made me think I was, and that I deserved to be treated better. I value your value in me so very much. Thank you.

Those of you who have known me for years know that I am NOT the kind of person to roll over and take many things. I fight for what I believe in. I stand up for what I think is right and fair.

For anyone who has never experienced a controlling relationship, I hope that you never will. I have never been more depressed or felt more unloved and WORTHLESS during that year and a half than I have in my entire life. I sincerely doubt I will ever allow myself to be subjected to that kind of treatment again. I also doubt that I will permit a friend to be treated in such an awful manner by anyone.

There were many lessons that I learned during my struggle to make Damian love me for who I was. There were more lessons yet while I struggled to make him love me for who he wanted me to be. The most valuable lessons were learned when I believed all of your beliefs in me and LEFT.

In April, after several breakup/makeup stints, I finally decided he HAD TO GO. I ordered myself a new cell phone, called advocacy help lines, picked everyone's brains, and made plans. On April 13th, 2008, I called Amanda in a panic, and she and Chris came to my rescue outside of Applebee's by Lake Calhoun. Staying at Amanda and Katie's place for a week saved my life.

During that week, I had a DNC to remove the "retained products of conception" from my uterus. I felt that even though I could have used Damian's support during my time of recovery, it was symbolic and appropriate to go through all of this without him. Relying on my Mom, my friends, and my own inner strength got me through some of my darkest days.

When I finally moved back home, I was ready to get back on with my life. Shortly after getting the locks changed and settling into MY apartment, I was fired from my job. Funny how life works, isn't it?

I took it in stride. It was a harsh blow, but it was also a blessing in disguise. I needed the money, but I hated working at Garden and Associates. This was someone's way of saying that it was my time to make a change. After taking a month or so off, I applied for a hostess position at Vescio's. I've been working in food for ten years (!) and this is by far the EASIEST job I've ever had. I love it. Full service restaurants are great fun.

Most of the summer (into the fall and winter) was spent trying to get Damian out of my system. If you look back through my journal or my Flickr, you will find evidence that supports this. I've never experienced addiction before...it was--and frankly, still is--hard to let him go. I am happy to report that I haven't spoken to him AT ALL since December 20th.

Over the spring and into the summer, I tried to replace Damian with a kitteh. I was too busy enjoying my newly rediscovered freedom and working my ass off to be the kitteh mommy he deserved. I made a wonderful new friend in Jennifer, the new kitteh mommy, and all became right with the world again.

A happy little event turned my life around in July. I attended my first Convergence. I felt silly at first, because I used to make fun of all the cosplaying, LARP-ing, gaming, Con-goers. Now, I'm one of the many, one of the proud. I won't miss another Convergence come Hell or high water.

After CVG08, I fell into the most wonderful group of friends a girl could ever ask for. We started out on July 3rd and haven't quit yet. I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but unicorns are pretty kick ass. And so are all of you. :)

Many happy comings and goings have occurred in the months since July. Many sad ones, too. I'm a little older, a little wiser. Just like Wayne, I'm starting to get hair in really weird places. Getting older comes at a price, I guess.

Friends have come and gone--some even came back again. :) We will have a new President in less than a month. Relationships have started and ended. Jobs have been acquired and lost. Modes of transportation have been changed and rearranged. Roommates have been made and are working out well. Engagements have been made into concrete plans for the future. Babies have been born, older folks have passed on.

Basically, everything since early July has been one big, fun, crazy, full of friends, awesome blur. I wouldn't trade this year for anything in the world. Garcia, Hunter, Lesh and Weir said it best: Lately it occurs to me: What a long, strange trip it's been.

I am waiting anxiously for everything 2009 holds in store for us all.

Peace and love--

Jessica Valentine Lindgren

Tonight, I was at the grocery store with a friend from work. I ran into an acquaintance from college...I guess friend would be the better word. I think I was a little nuts in college...I didn't really think that I fit in with anyone, or that anyone really liked me...at all.

I was really surprised when she was so excited, and she even gave me a hug. I've grown into knowing that people do at least kinda like me, even though sometimes I'm an a-hole. I'm not sure WHY people like me, but they seem to...unless they are all REALLY GOOD at faking it. :P

Anywho, Laya (the girl from college) is still in touch occasionally with one of my college roommates. The roommate, Kat, was a really sweet girl that I basically treated like shit. I was not a very good roommate to her. I still feel really bad about it, even to this day. I asked Laya if Kat ever brings it up, and she said yes. That made me feel worse. :(

The conversation kinda centered on Kat for a while, so I asked if she thought Kat would be receptive to an apology. Laya said that yes, Kat would probably really appreciate it. She almost gave me Kat's phone number, but I thought this might be better handled by email or letter first. Laya agreed.

I searched Kat on Facebook tonight, and she's on there! This is what I sent:

Kat--

I ran into Laya at the grocery store tonight, and she said that she was still in touch with you off and on. She said that you are really busy with grad school and life in general...congratulations on having the patience to go through with grad school! I know I sure don't have it.

To make a long story short, because I don't really know where or how to start, I'd like to apologise...for a lot of things. I know we didn't part on the best of terms, and I know it was pretty much all my fault. I'm sorry I was such a shitty roommate and friend to you. You're a great person, and you don't deserve to be treated like that by anyone. I'm really sorry that I treated you so badly.

If you'd ever like to get together for a cup of tea or something, I'd like that. In an ideal world, I'd really like a shot at being friends again some day. I totally understand if you're not interested, but I thought I'd toss that out there.

I hope all is going well for you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Jess

I know it's short and not terribly detailed, but I have a lot of things to apologise for. In an ideal world, we won't have to re-hash them all, but I totally understand if she wants to. I know I can't go back and change things, although if I could, I would. I also firmly believe that the mistakes we make and the shit we go through makes us into better people. Most importantly, being able to step up and admit to one's own assholish tendencies...well, there's really nothing better than that. It's humbling, it's humiliating, but it makes us stronger.

I really hope she reads the email. I hope she believes that I'm sincere. I hope I didn't leave Augsburg with virtually zero friends.